Brighter days

 In search for brighter days,

I'd spend eternity,

Thinking I'd seen the sun,

Up-close in my face,

Now all I wait is for dew and rainbow,

Shining stars and glow,

All I want is good times,

No one bickering their truths about me,

No one telling the world,

My where-abouts, my life, my time,

No one judging me,

Over how I perform,

All I want is peace and calm,

All I want is what's mine to be mine.

The Quicker Days...

Time is slipping,

in seconds,

moments,

blinks,

I long,

For time to stay,

calm and mellow,

Where I can,

fall in love,

And find myself,

Again... 

Poem

 Let's grow,

Let's find our own seventh sky,

Free ourselves from the ties of this world,

Free our souls,

The world is cruel,

But my beloved,

Who said we need the world anyways,

We are content that way,

On our own.

Let's run away, 

Let's go,

My beloved...

Comeback or maybe a pop up out of no where post!

 Hello!

Greetings everyone! I have no idea where to start from. I am now in a different phase of life. Married, two babies. Life is a bliss and a chaos at the same time. My older girl is five and a half and son is two and a half year old Masha-Allah. 

I, myself am going to turn 28 in a few days. Whew! getting old LOL! I usually can't relate to  much that I have written back when I started writing. It is all so different now. The way life and it's dynamics are. I left blogging when I got married. I did it to give more time to family and home but now I somewhat regret doing that. I shouldn't have abandoned it altogether. Because when I left writing on this baby of mine, I left a part of myself behind. I miss that part of me where I used to have creative ideas, writing plans, goals of where to take my blog. I lost all that and I regret doing that. This was somewhat my identity. This place knew me like nobody else did. This place was the one I owned, completely. This was my one get away from the ugly world. I will make sure now, to come back here more often. Write all my sorrows and my joy here and turn away from the world for even a few minutes. 

I have learned very hard way, the world is cruel and ugly and if you trust them with more then they deserve, they will turn it against you in the brutal way possible. The faces are sweet and their realities are bitter. 
And that more often then you'd like, you're alone to fight those battles.

I am stuck in the whirlwind of responsibilities and duties. A little time to myself has become a necessity. I'd love if I could write more often, freely, like before. 

Till the next time we meet,

Goodbye, my little one, I still love this baby of mine.

Growing up too fast!

 Helllloooo!!
How have you folks been?
I've had a few errands pending since months literally, that got done. pretty relieved. *Phew*
I've been wondering, my babies have grown up so much, my older one pretty much manages most of her chores herself now, they do grow up so fast. Only you realize it later.

 I remember when she was born, I was so scared, I felt like this is A HUGE responsibility.  Another human being has been brought on earth who is totally dependent on me! How am I going to take care of her. And mind you, I knew most of the 'chores' that babies require to get done because I had nephews and nieces before I got married; chores like changing diapers, putting them to sleep, feeding them, massages etc etc. I wasn't one bit concerned of physical work. I was going bonkers because I thought the world is cruel and I will be taking care of a new human being.

Fast forward to now she's almost 5, VERY strong headed, a tiny heart and a brain FULL of questions. I swear I answer almost 926346 questions everyday. Honestly sometimes it is annoying :p

Don't label me as a bad mum, I have my ups and downs.


Life is full of energy and happy chaos. Everyday brings new challenges with itself, but it doesn't only bring challenges;  it kindles new smiles and new hopes everyday!

Being a parent is a blessing!
ThankGod x infinity.

<3

Technology and Morals

 Hi Ya'll.

While technology has been deeply rooted in our daily lives now, certainly it clashes with ethics and morals in some spaces. Our daily routines have been so accustomed to the use of latest gadgets and apps that we’ve become somewhat slaves to it. Who remembers using landlines anymore? We have mobiles and they’re so much better! 

We find these devices a better, faster way to get anything done but we’re also damaging so many things in the process. Condolences are paid on phones and we lost the feel of hugging someone who needed it the most. Your best friend had a baby, you video-called instead of actually visiting, couriered the gifts along; the baby became familiar with you as “The aunt who comes on my phone and sends me parcels”. Oh and food is eaten only AFTER you’ve taken a few good pictures to be posted on social media.

The granny who longed to see you and talk to you is now hopelessly watching you staying busy in your tab sitting right beside her, as if you weren’t even there. The education suddenly flipped towards online meetings and assignments. The little children lost interest because they wished to sit beside their friends and learn together. 

Certain someone wants to keep a specific news to themselves, their news spirals like a wild fire because someone else posted and now social media is full of that one news. Your next door neighbor is extremely sick, you haven’t visited them in person since ages, so you find out about their illness through their social accounts rather than through going to their place.

Being rude to strangers was never even thought of in olden time, now we find everyone on the internet fighting with each other. Perseverance and patience is drained down the hole and everyone debates over who is right and who is not.

We lost the human touch as we dived deep into technology. It will not be wrong to say, we grew closer to technology and farther from our dear ones. We’re busy capturing photos of rare moments instead of truly treasuring them. We are too busy being ‘tech-savvy’ that we lose the real essence of an instance.

I truly feel if in some ways, technology is the best solution to a lot of issues, we’re somewhat downgrading our ‘human-ness’ due to it. 

We need to breathe and live more then being ‘techy’.

Conquer Hearts

 

Oh darling, don't be ready,

For serving trays delicious,

To people who are vicious,

For trolley full of eatery,

For people to munch on,

For table of exotics,

For ones who don't even care,

But darling please be ready,

To shove their opinions down their throats,

To let them know,

Their validations,

Aren't your necessity,

To punch a face when they make one,

Over how strong you are,

But,

Be ready my super human,

To achieve greater,

To believe better,

To know far more,

Then any of us do,

To stand taller,

To excel farther,

To top forward,

To be strong,

To be ambitious,

To be courageous,

To ALWAYS do the right thing,

No matter how down it feels,

To standup for yourself,

And walk over others' weight over you.

May you conquer hearts,

Rather then conquering the houses.

Amen.

Untitled Babble

 Heeeelllllooooo Thereeeee!

Lol yes, I abandoned this baby because I got real human babies to take care of!

Yup I became a mama bear to two beautiful souls, for whom I could do anything at all.

Life is different, I am a completely different person now. I didn't quite know that. I have changed, no, more like I have evolved into a completely different being. I am more of a kickass now. ;)

I didn't realize that. That after the birth of my babies, I'd meet someone completely different, and that will be me, A Whole New Me.

My older one is turning 5 in a few months and her younger brother 2. Oh how over whelming it still is to think I have tiny humans of my own who depend upon me for everything.

Sometimes no me time and only their time stresses the hell out of me. I have now promised myself, no matter what I will be making a tiny bit of PRODUCTIVE time for myself too. The reason this 'productive' is such big fat word is because I have spent this me-time doing absolute-unavailing and purposeless activities.

For now I have just two things in mind:

* Write more on my blog/Facebook blog (yep I have one called advents of mommyhood, and I am shamelessly promoting it here.)

*Exercise. Yep. Gotta loose the tummy tyre. can't blame two cesareans anymore because they happened long ago. :p

Embracing Motherhood

                Motherhood is a different journey. Different then any of the others anyone has ever been on. It takes so much of you but it completes you. It teaches you so many things.
                Motherhood takes strength. It takes time. It takes the whole of you. It's tough. It's all that and it's beautiful.
                  It's all of those moments when you think you're done with everything and it's all of those moments when you think it's just a beginning. It begins when you think everything is over. It begins when you think you can not do it anymore. It begins when you break down. It begins when you are at your wit's end. It begins when you are on the verge.
               It rises you up again and it makes you whole, complete. It gives you back all of your strength. I'd not have known this, if I wasn't a mother.
                If I was not a mother, I'd never have wiped a sticky smelly butt with so much love in my heart. If I was not a mother, I'd never have woken up, a hundred times a night and looked at a sleeping baby, just to make sure she's all okay and comfy in her sleep. If I was not a mother, I'd never have compromised on my hygiene and care, never slept in a puked-on PJ and letting go of oiling a my hair every once in a while.
                If I was not a mother, I'd never have slept odd hours and still be ready for the next day. If I was not a mother, I'd never have been so happy over a dirty nappy after days of little constipated tummy. If I was not a mother, I'd not ever have been so much happy that I'd burst crying with love and joy, over little steps, first words, first foods.
                If I was not a mother, I'd never have been happy over a dirty face, dirty table but a full tummy. If I was not a mother I'd never have been over joyed for a smile after a bad, cranky day. If I was not a mother, I'd never have felt the sparkle in the little eyes upon seeing me.
                If I was not a mother, I'd not have known that simple joys of life would bring immense tranquility in my heart and in my life.


Also, If I was not a mother, I could have blogged all of this last year when I actually wrote it. :)
                  

Black Horse

The Horse black as coal,
Shines like a diamond,
Smooth body, fur like a silk,
Running along the shore,
Creating chills over my shoulder,
Trying to touch it,
Trying to hold it,
Takes me away,
Farther away,
It's majestic powers,
It's perfect tail,
It's furious voice,
Sending hot gushes,
Down my spine,
And I think to myself,
What a beautiful sight to see,
But what a scary sense to feel.

Fight With-in

"If you can't fight your inner demons, you cant lead a peaceful life."

                      There's a lot that bothers you, a lot that angers the deepest part of your soul, a lot that you really dislike, but the wisest act in all of these kinds of situations is that you do not always blurt it out. You do not always release all this negativity. Specially, if it is just over a petty little thing. Not everything is meant to be addressed. Not everything is meant to be confronted. Not everything is meant to be approached the moment you find a mistake in it.

                    Sometimes, someone's respect is more important then letting them know what were their mistakes.  Sometimes, it's important that you ignore, rather then build up flames for a really tiny missed detail.

                   Unfortunately, a lot of us forget that. Not everything should be said. It only brings disrespect on both ends. Sometimes, love and politeness corrects more mistakes then anger and attack. Not only that, it brings more respect in hearts. If everyone starts understanding this, the world will be a little more brighter.

Not Everyone Matters, Make Peace.

                                     After all these years and all this time, I've learnt that it doesn't matter if whole of the world isn't happy with you. It doesn't matter if everyone doesn't appreciate or respect. It's okay to leave those faces unhappy. Because the people who love you for who you are wouldn't need explanations. The people who are truly yours will not need clarifications. They will not doubt your actions for even a second. They know you, they know who you are and what you did. Even if somethings don't turn out the way they expected to, they will not need a single word to believe that all your intentions and all your efforts were right. The people who love you truly and fiercely, will always stand by you, even when you don't expect them to.
                        The rest of the world can go and create unnecessary dramas. I've learnt that the hard way. I've learnt that it's not necessary to roam around people who have their egos on the highest shelf. It's okay to not try hard to make everyone like you. It's okay to leave the frowning faces exactly like they are and move about with your own life. You were only put on earth to please God the Almighty and not people, whose only job is to judge you from far away and label you some names.

 You deserve peace. Learn to make peace.

Do You Dare

Do you dare, counting the stars,
While all you do is look at the moon?
Do you dare to crack open a smile,
While all you want to do is frown?
Do you dare to look at the glory,
While all you watch is a mess?
Do you dare to look at the change?
While all you see is consistency?
Do you dare to feel the warmth,
While all you do is curse the sun?
Do you dare to feel the magic,
While all you do is pass the minutes?
Do you dare?
No, you don't.
Because you're frightened of beauty.
You're frightened of the strengths.
But may be one day.
You'll look past your fears. 

Men Being Equal to Women

                                       The day men learn women do not dream equality, will be the day a lot of things will sort themselves out. You see the problem here is, the egos of men, their pride, makes them think the women are trying to compete with them to be equal to them. Where as, woman, they just strive and struggle to be where they deserve to be. A place they could own with pride, understood and cared for. No smart woman wants to be equal to man.
                                     We know, who we are and where we stand, least it's not equal to man. We give you generations, we look after your children, we teach them life, more over, we look after you, that my fellows is far away from being 'equal' to you.
                                      Equal? No. Because two entirely different bodies made from entirely different substances can not be compared, hence, no question of being equal or not.
                                       You go glorifying man-hood with pain, they go glorifying themselves with love. You still don't understand: No equality needed.
                                        Men, made from blood and gore and women made from emotion. They're two different creatures. Women don't want to be equal to men, they just want to be beside men doing their own job, with pride, courage and dignity.
                                          I don't know from where does this question of women being equal to men came from, but this is utter non-sense. Men build houses and women make it home. Men give cash and women turn it into food. Men give emotions even they themselves don't understand, women turn it into love.
                                        So all you glorious men, next time someone tries to kill your man-pride by comparing two creatures, tell them: We're Incomparable!

Perfect

Don't you listen to them darlin'
Don't you care,
Because all those voices,
All those noises,
They're scared of you,
Chanting so loud but,
They're scared of you,
Scared of how you get right back up,
Scared of how calmly you deal with it,
Scared of how gracefully you handle their mess,
Scared of what happened was the total opposite of what they thought,
Scared that they couldn't take over you,
Scared of your beautiful strengths,
Scared of your heroic courage,
Scared that you rose above all,
And you, Oh You!
You are amazing,
A wonderful riddle,
A mesmerizing sight,
A precious piece of nature's art,
A striking strength,
You are perfect,
Do you hear that,
You are perfect, just the way you are!

A Glimpse Through Momhood

                                    As I look back on my life, I see how quickly time changed and it changed me, with it. I remember once, time was all mine. Now, I run after it like a maniac and it still slips out of my hands so fast. Once I was a little girl, so care-free.Now I am a mother of a little girl myself. Responsibilities lie over my shoulder and it gets heavier each day. A new task, a new errand, a new milestone awaits as I wake up each day.
                                    Life after marriage and motherhood drastically changed me. It challenged me. I had to embrace everything along, with open mind and heart.
                                     It isn't so bad, but it is no doubt pretty tough. It is tough when people look up to you for their needs. All of a sudden, sometimes, it hits you, you have to be there, even when on some days, you don't want to be. You have to, for your people, you have to.
                                     Now, when I remember old times what I miss is the calmness I once had in my heart. I don't really have the same feeling anymore. My soul was calm, subtle. I had time. I had freedom. Now, I wait for the end of the day to have 5 minutes for myself as I lie on my bed.
                                      But this is life. This is how it gets along. My mum would have done the same and my daughter will do that too. This is how it works. Everything has it's perks. I enjoy little moments of serenity as I hug my little one close to my chest. I love it when she has that one particular look on her face that no one else gets. I get glimpses of love in her eyes. I didn't really understand love before I met my precious little daughter.
                                     Life is tough, quick and wonderful. I couldn't have known a better mum, husband or a better daughter. I wouldn't have it any other way!
 

Teach Me

Lead me to your dreams,
Your bliss in the beautiful place,
Your treats of wonderlust,
Your astounding world of harmony,
Take me then to the secret chamber,
Teach me how to do it,
How to forget all the miseries,
How to control my mind,
How to go,
How to move,
To your amazing tomorrow-land!

From A Mother, To Another!

With all it's beginings,
Life began,
After so many years,
Life began,
So many firsts,
So many lasts,
Life began,
Time is precious,
Time is fast,
This will all go by,
before I know,
Then I'll remember, years ago,
Life Began,
I'll remember all the firsts,
I'll remember all the lasts,
I'll remember the journey,
and all it's days,
When times were tough,
When times didn't move,
When times were happy,
On a roller coaster ride,
And I'll say to myself,
Oh how beautifully,
My life began!





                       This ladies and gentlemen, is a small way of announcing that my journey as mother began about 6 months ago and really, life began, when I welcomed my precious little daughter in this world!

                      The journey from a woman to a mother changed me 360°. Little did I know, I'll not only fall in love with my daughter all that much but I'll love my own mum like I've never loved before.




                       To my mum I'd say, Thankyou Ammi! Thank you for raising me the right way despite of all that you went through! Times had been tough, You and I both suffered, we went through so much, but in the end, storms passed, skies cleared, rainbow did shine down on us!
                      Soon after, we lost our hero, but I because of you and you because of me, stood firm and cleared the test. Because of you, I am here. I couldnt have done that without you.
                      Thank you Ammi, for raising me the way I'd want to raise my daughter. You set the standards, You built the foundations. You made it easier, happier. I've never seen a woman as strong as you! Thank You Ammi, for all the love. Thank You Ammi, for being my rock, even now!



                       And as I cry, typing all of this, I am sure my siblings feel the same way! Ammi, we're all humble and Thankful to you for all the struggles you went through with raising us and making us who we are today! We love you to the moon and back!

As I watch you grow!

As I watch you grow,
I see your beautiful soul,
I realize time is slipping by,
Faster then I ever imagined,
I remember youwere so little,
Fitting perfectly in my arms,
All you could do was cry and look around,
Once I blinked,
& here you are,
All grown up,
So far away,
Going places,
Doing things,
How I wish,
I could still be with you,
Hug you like before,
& We'd burst laughing,
Over a crazy stupid thing,
How I wish,
I could relive that time,
As I watch you grow!



Happy 4th my little boy! Hope you have a wonderful life ahead!

Isn't it odd?

Isn't it odd? To have to say goodbye,
Isn't it odd? To then feel your heart going away,
Isn't it odd? To look at all the memories with blurry eyes,
Isn't it odd? To have to make yourself understand, the pain is inevitable,
Isn't it odd? To watch the memories grow stronger and stronger as you cry,
Isn't it odd? To never speak a word as you embrace to a painful goodbye,
Isn't it odd? To say goodye, but never feel distant!